I need to be transparent…I have not written a blog post in 6 months.  I have attempted, however, it always comes to a place of bitterness and betrayal. 

That is not what I wanted. I want us all to be in a place where we abide in Christ and life is great and we worship together in spirit and in truth.  
  But the truth is I have been raised in the church and have seen my share of hurt and disappointment from those that are supposed to be clothed in Christ, only to be more dressed for destruction. (I AM PREACHING TO THE CHOIR)   I have watched my family and my friends hurt because of harsh words from others or those that choose to simply walk away from the hard stuff that encompasses wrong actions on the part of Christians.  Walking away from Gods family, because of the hurt and the failure to remember the true mission” to bring others to Christ.”
A couple of years ago and   I found myself in a study of 1 Peter.  I came to chapter 2 and it hit me  hard . Peter tells me to get rid of:

Malice

Deceit

Hypocrisy

Slander

Envy
   

It really seems to encompass everything that Satan uses to destroy Christians from the inside out!

 I wept that day…hard.  I have often times dressed my own self in these things.  Filthy rags that look normal to the outside world but just filthy rags in God’s eyes. Just unacceptable.

I have heard it said over the last couple of years,” the church is full of broken people.”  But Peter seems to be reminding us that there is no place for those things in Christ’s body, we are not growing if we are continuing to do these things. (1 Peter 2:1 -3)

  “When do we quit being broken?” 

 How many years does it take for us to quit acting as children of the world and start acting as a child of the most HighGod. Who wants to be around a family that cannot seem to truly love each other?

  I am the first to admit I have danced the fine line between loving someone in Christ but not “liking them” but the deeper I study the more convicted I am to sincerely love others. ( Romans 12:9, 1 Peter 4:8 )  I have watched people live in bitterness and anguish for a lifetime over unforgiveness and trying so hard to ” Christian” love someone that they really don’t like.  I don’t know about you but I don’t want to live that life! 

 I am sharing my letter to God with you. I want to be so transparent so that you can feel an openness with Amy and me here at the Bible and Coffee Podcast.    If you have been wounded please know that God knows this and is there for you.  It is not a time to leave him but a time to be strengthened through him.   The book of James tells us that prayers heal. You can’t do it alone.

It doesn't take time...it takes prayer

 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 ( ESV)

Here is my open prayer to God;

To my gracious and compassionate Lord and Savior, I come to you broken…and I am tired of being broken. 
         I have been in many places where I have put my whole self out there for Christ only to allow Satan to shake the very foundation that Christ has built in me. Please continually remind me that it is the foundation of Jesus Christ, not of people on which I must stand.
      My urge to remain in bitterness is a sin towards you God and not towards those that have hurt me.  Please help me to forget all the trespasses against me because you have forgotten mine.
       Release the names that continually shackle me with a heartache so that I can pray for all of us with a pure heart. 
       Never allow me to forget the gift of the Holy Spirit that I have received through baptism whose job it is to convict my soul.  Give me a contrite heart and cleanse me so that I may be healed.
       Allow me to rejoice in trials and hardships that are placed before me and come to you first. 
      With open hands, I ask that you continue to mold me for battle so that I remember that the victory belongs to you. 
      Loving you with all my heart, my soul and my mind. 

Thank you for allowing me to be transparent before God with you.

Because he first loved me,

Belinda